Understood

    I woke up this morning feeling weary. I wasn't sure why, but I felt there was a war being fought for my soul. I may sound crazy and fact is I don't care. I know there is something in store for my life and it might not be right around my corner, but it is around God's corner. Emotions are very realistic to the person who feels them. For a while I hated emotion. I wanted to do all that I could to numb things for a while. I am glad to say that I don't mind emotion now after being rescued from a place where I felt numb every day for several months in a row. Whether my heart feels heavy or whether it feels light I am relieved that I don't have to live through my life with no recollection of ever being the places I've been. You see, when I was numb to the things of this world I could go several months without knowing what I had been going through, where I had gone, or why I felt the way I did. It was as if I wasn't living. It was as if I wasn't aware of anything and all because of traumatic events that went on in my life. I couldn't understand why and I didn't want to try. It was too much of a burden for me to carry.

    It was too heavy of a burden for me to carry. As I went on with my life, even though I felt disengaged from it all, nothing and no one was helping. In fact, people often made things worse rather than better when they don't know what they are talking about. People would give me advice when they didn't know the whole story which made their advice useless and in other situations it would only make things worse. Needless to say this happens to many Christians. A tragedy will happen in someone's life and we think it is our right to tell them it's going to start a revival in the church or whatever other comments we come up with. When this happens the person only feels belittled. It often makes them think people are blowing off how a horrible occurence made them feel. It only dehumanizes them! Revivals come and they go. If that was how God worked then we'd all be going through hell on earth. God isn't a petty God.

    He has His own reasons for things that we go through. We think up the smallest reasons that He could have allowed something to happen when really His plan is SO much greater than we could imagine. We have to accept that we aren't always going to know the "why?" When we question God's doings aren't we just showing our lack of faith in Him? None of us can think up a reason for what God does better than He can and as Christians it is not our place to try to give explanation and what about when we tell others we will be praying for them when they are in time of need? Praying is nice and all, but again is that all we should be doing? "Oh, I'll pray for you and you'll be fine eventually." No, praying is great, but we should also be attentive to their needs. It is okay for people to be angry and upset for a time and everyone needs to express their emotion so they can be rid of it. Holding on to it, shoving it inside our hearts deeper and deeper, and ignoring it only causes problems for us. Instead we should listen to those who are going through heartache. Let them say whatever needs to be said without condemning them for it.

    Don't try to carry them through it when God is the only one who can. Instead walk beside them and give them comfort where comfort is needed. It is their choice to accept the inevitable and to hold on a little bit longer. I encourage those of you who are going through tough times to keep holding on. You may not understand why, but once you understand that you can't understand how big God is and that you can't fathom His omnipotence your life will be changed. You will no longer wallow in the things you cannot change. Your faith will be strengthened as you get back to your knees because only we can be the ones to choose that faith for out lives. We have to prepare ourselves for those times. We have to mentally decide that when we enter into a time of grief that we will not let it break us. We have to let it make us stronger and we have to understand that we aren't always going to undestand.