Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tried and True - Happy Valentines Day!!

    As Valentines Day approaches I want to take a minute to say, "Happy Valentines Day to you all," and for those of us who are single men or women I want to wish you a Happy Singles Awareness Day!! I used to approach this day with so much resentment because of a wounded, broken, shattered, hopeless, and annoyed heart. I used to call "V" Day "D" day and have the desire to wear black to mourn this wretched holiday. (Feel free to laugh because I'm cracking up!!) I'd refrain from wearing black simply because I'd worry about blending in with all of the Valentines Day heathens out there and then tragically all of the single men wouldn't be able to find me. Okay, I am definitely over exaggerating that last part :-) But how many of us singles go through Valentines Day without having a single thought about our relationship status?

    Let me answer that one for you: NONE of us. Now don't stop reading if you're in a relationship right now or even happily married to the guy or girl of your dreams. This is as much for you as it is for your single friends out there, but maybe you don't have single friends. Maybe you are one of those couples who don't associate with anyone who has "single" stamped on their forehead or you can't help but cringe everytime  you come across someone who is over the age of thirty and isn't in a relationship yet. In that case you need to be prayed over and prayed over hard. (I'm only messing with you ;-)) Earlier this week I realized all of the reasons WHY to love Valentine's day single or married. It was a great revelation for me especially because I was clenching my fists a month earlier wishing that February could just fall of the face of the calendar.

    I could imagine it: January, March, April, May...but that didn't seem to go over well with the government. Since that didn't work out I found a better idea. Make this day special by remembering your first love. I am not talking about the first boy or girl you fell "in love" with. I am talking about Jesus, the most perfect icon of true love; the one who sacrificed everything so that we could be forgiven. THAT is true love: sacrifice. I'm not saying you are going to find someone who has perfect love because no one does. We're human. I am saying that we should be the ones to strive to have love as close to perfect as we can whether we are married, in a relationship, or single. Here's a reminder for those of you who do have someone in your life to celebrate your love for: remember to put Christ as the center of your relationship. Try to show a Christ-like love above all else. Now I have something to say for my single readers and even for myself as a reminder. Those who know me know the relationships I have been in weren't edifying for me. They were tearing me apart when they should have been building me up.


    I am to blame for some of this and I have no problem in the world admitting that I've made some bad choices....okay, A LOT of bad decisions when it came to this. Sometimes the mistakes I made were unintentional. Sometimes I was unaware and sometimes I was too numb to see the reality of the situation and for those I apologize. Other times I wasn't strong enough which had caused me to lean on security that someone else provided. I should have maintained the identity that I obtained before those relationships while entering into them instead of burdening those closest to me with my pain. So this is for every guy or girl who has settled for less, for those of you who have made mistakes that have caused you to think you deserve less, and for those of you who have had hearts that have been trampled on and torn apart for every time a guy or girl paired the wrong words and promises with his feelings this is for you I encourage you to focus on becoming all that you want to be.


    Make sure you are stable going into a relationship, make sure you are secure in who you are in Christ, and make sure no matter what problem threatens to shake you where you are rely on God to deliver you from it instead of the one you are in a relationship with. Stay true to who you are when you are tried. It's easier said then done of course, but God doesn't ask us to be perfect. He asks us to do our best. Focus on becoming the right person instead of looking for the right person. Focus on becoming a prince or princess instead of expecting one to see a pauper as theirs. That is when you'll be able to love to the best of your ability. Ask God to heal your pain from past relationships and to mold your thoughts into those that are pleasing to Him and if you are just waiting then pray about the kind of treasure you want brought into your life, and as for me I am going to try better this time to hold myself to the standards I had once laid before myself. So remember to keep your focus right and to tell Jesus that you love Him not only this Valentines Day, but every day.<3

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