In the past I've had several instances where my family, friends, and some now ex-boyfriends treated me less than the way they would have wanted to be treated. So how could this happen to me? Treat others the way you want to be treated; that's the golden rule, right? Well then we get caught up in the mindset that we should treat them how we want to be treated and that means continually allowing them back into our lives again and again and again and again until we're so broken that we can't even function. We become stuck in a rut, but that's what forgiving someone means, right? Nope.
God doesn't want you to be a doormat. He doesn't want you to be someone who won't stand up for themselves or someone who doesn't speak truth regarding whatever the situation is at hand. Hypothetically if someone kicked you in the leg over and over and over then eventually you're not going to be able to walk and if you can't walk how are you going to be able to reach the place you were meant to reach? It's hard to believe someone is truly sorry when they go back to doing the same thing they were doing before. I came across a really great quote today from Booker T. Washington - "You can't hold a man down without staying down with him." Maybe you aren't the person holding someone down, but maybe you're letting someone hold you down and it's keeping you from everything God has for you.
You may have thought that you were putting them first. At least that was what I was thinking in the situations I've been in, but in reality you're destroying both you and the person who may be (intentionally or unintentionally) keeping you from the gift God wants to give you. Putting others first does not mean letting people walk all over you. You're God's creation. You were made for a greater purpose than being a doormat. You were made as a tapestry. You are an exquisite, rich design that is meant to be cherished, loved, and admired so that you point to the magnificent, omnipotent Creator.
God doesn't want His daughter or son to be lead down a path that ends in destruction for you and the person who is treating you unfairly. I'm not telling you to not forgive the people in your life who hurt you and I'm not telling you to leave everyone who hurts you behind, but discretion is advised. Keep in mind that your exit from their life could be their entrance into God's kingdom. You are then guarding your heart and letting God deal with that person in a healthy way and in some cases an even more healthy way if they've been relying on you to be the one that heals them. We should, however, always love one another and be gracious even if it means at a distance. I'll leave you with these words: Evaluate closely the relationships you're hanging onto. Forgive, forget, love, and know when to let go of control.
