7 Things God Taught Me About Relationships

    I'm not normally the type of person who would write these type of blog posts and I'm not a fan of mushiness. For example, the only way I'll ever watch a chick flick is if it's comedic. Don't get me wrong. I would love to be married and have a family of my own one day, but right now that isn't my top priority. My top priority would be focusing on my relationship with God. I've been asking Him to bring things to the surface, and He definitely did that by making me more self-aware of what I need healing in and what habits I've learned that I need to unlearn. So when I was thinking about how He loves me by doing that, I connected it with how a man should love a woman and vice versa. 

    Seven things on how God loves the church that should translate to how husbands/boyfriends should love their wives/girlfriends:

1.) God relentlessly pursues me.

• He doesn't give up on you even when you give up on Him. He runs to meet the prodigal son/daughter with arms wide open.
• How does this apply? Sometimes this means that the man reflects on where he is at and what he needs to work on (physically, spiritually, emotionally, and even socially) before he starts the chase,  and for a woman this can mean that she reflects on where she is at and what she needs to work on before she is caught. (You're not God. Get over it.) If you're not ready then it is not wise to get into a relationship. After God gives you the go ahead as a man then ask her out. Though I am not married, I know that this shouldn't stop after you are.

2.) God completely knows me.

• He already knows everything, but we're constantly changing and He keeps up with it. He knows every hair on our head, and knows when we lost one because of stress. He knows our past, present, and future. He knows why we do what we do and knows our intentions.
• How does this apply? From the standpoint of a woman, there is nothing more attractive than a man who expresses interest in everything there is to know about you (and if you're a man then you would know if this applies to how you feel). To take your time to become a student of all of her (his) likes and dislikes, to search out why she (he) does the little things that bug the crap out of you, to express interest in how her (his) day went, what means a lot to her (him), etc. speaks volumes. Our personalities are constantly changing so until the day you die you will be getting to know your partner more. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, stay single.

3.) God actively loves me.

• He doesn't just tell you that He loves you; He impact-fully and unconditionally shows you. When we pursue Him with the same passion in which He pursues us, we start to reflect holiness. He doesn't stop and wants to see you receive it.
• How does this apply? A lot of us know 1 Corinthians 13. We cannot do this without God in the center of any relationship. We must be willing to lay down our lives for the other person and make sacrifices. We are to be persevering, patient, kind, not jealous, boastful, or proud. We are to not behave rudely, seek our own, think evil, be provoked, and we are to rejoice in the truth. It sounds like a chore, doesn't it? Well when you truly know God, you truly know how to love and whether you know how will be a reflection in your actions.

4.) God gently leads me.

• He isn't a dictator. He is a a leader. He isn't a controller. He is an encourager, informing us that we have two options - the path of destruction or the path of life. He drops loving reminders (conviction) instead of pointing fingers (condemnation).
• How does this apply? This applies mostly to the men. This does not mean that you are superior to women. Men and women are to honor each other alike. A leader does not push a rope; he pulls it, leading by example. This is not based on my biases or other's. This is the dynamic God meant from the beginning of time. Ladies, there is a big difference between masculinity and manipulation. Masculinity is protective, not abusive. If he demands you should submit to him, especially before you're married then he does not know God's Word. He should gently and directly point you to the Word of God and then ladies, you should submit. Men, this means you are to lead spiritually. How can you do that at all if you aren't praying and reading God's Word faithfully? Take a stand and be a man. It is so very important for you to know each other's character, especially before you get married. It feels like a chore to love someone wholeheartedly who can't lead you in a marriage and to love someone who questions your every decision.  (Ephesians 5:22-33)

5.) God effectively helps me.

• He is our provider. When we are struggling He helps us by what He has given us in His living Word. When we are in need, He comes to our rescue. (Sometimes it's not in the physical realm, but rest assured that if it isn't then it is provision for you spiritually.)
• How does this apply? I don't want to come off as sexist, but in Ephesians 5 men are told to nourish and cherish their bride. This means spiritually (though as women we are to trust in God for this above man), emotionally, physically (when married), and financially is included in this. Timothy 5:8 is a scary verse for those who think that it's not. I have heard so many men deny this just so that they can have some excuse for being lazy, and in all fairness to the men; women, this does not give you permission to be a gold digger. When you marry a man, if he loses his job, are you willing to persevere for rich or for poor? Both genders are to try their hardest at everything no matter the "cost".

6.) God adamantly encourages me.

• He constantly will bring to remembrance how He sees you if you will take the time to listen. He says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You're His beloved. You are the apple of His eye (and no one can take your place to Him) He made you unique and loves you in your own special way, as if you were the only one who ever existed to Him. He doesn't stop until you believe it.
• How does this apply? Ultimately our identity as men and women is to be found in Christ, but regarding relationships we are to encourage in the same manner. When your woman/man is feeling down be quick to build up their self-esteem. We find security in each other and don't go looking anywhere else for it when we feel confident in what our partner thinks. You can never give too much encouragement - ever. It has been said that when someone hurts you with their words, you need to be told the opposite of it ten times for you to actually believe it. P.S. Don't you dare go looking for it anywhere else if you're reading this feeling like you don't get enough encouragement. YOU make decisions based on no one else but YOU.

7.) God thoroughly listens to me.

• He doesn't just hear you. He listens to you. He wants to hear what you have to say and how you're feeling about the day. He is fully focused on you and you alone. If you have a request of Him, He will listen, though He won't always grant it. When He doesn't grant it just to please you, He is protecting you because He sees and knows the bigger picture.
• How does this apply? This is another big one. There is nothing sexier than someone listening to you intently by holding onto every word you say and relaying those words back to you. We all have been where we will hear a person, but not listen. Soak whatever it is they say in. Pray about problems. Receive restoration. Seek to understand and set goals together.

    I love and appreciate your feedback and thoughts, and just want to take the time to say thank you. So those are my two cents, or seven. Ha ha. Comment yours below:

Destructive Vs. Constructive Criticism

    Have you ever had somebody point out your flaws constantly whether it be your parent, sibling, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife? That relationship got burdensome and you no longer enjoyed hanging around them; did you? You might be on the receiving end, or maybe you're on the giving end; but I bet that if you think you're the one on the receiving end then you've been on the giving end at least once. Have you ever had someone give you advice that you were so glad that you listened to it? Their words were refreshing to your ears and made you want to be around them more because you knew they cared about you and your well-being as a Christian. You see, there are two types of critics: destructive and constructive. I see so much confusion about this, especially in the Christian "world" in which we should be seeing less of it. Therefore, I would like to shed light on what it looks like to give both.

    Destructive criticism comes off as controlling. The receiving end will feel condemned and as if they can't do anything right. I'm not going to point out anyone in particular here except for myself. My first "serious" relationship in my teenage years I would constantly point out things he was or wasn't doing (whether they were sinful or just because I didn't like whatever it was that he did). I would start arguments unintentionally because I was frustrated and didn't know how to express how I was feeling. This was a result of unrighteously judging what he was doing and what other girls around him were doing, even if I was doing the same thing. It was as if spending so many years internalizing things made it all explode at once causing an even bigger mess than it would have if I had dealt with it right away, in the correct manner, no matter how painful it was. (Matthew 7:1-5 - "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.")

    Constructive criticism comes off as caring. The receiving end will feel convicted and encouraged to do what's right. This past Christmas I was in a situation where I just wanted to help a certain person. I had asked my daddy if I could invite them over for dinner, but then he asked me some questions about the circumstances and the person. After gaining an understanding, he told me gently that I can't trust everybody and though I just want to help people, some will try to take advantage of that. I knew that he cared for me and that he genuinely didn't want to see me get hurt so I listened. A month later I found out that his words rang true. I had made extremely careless decisions back then and I was grateful for that accountability. (Matthew 18:15-17 - "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained a brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be like to you a heathen and a tax collector.")

    Though I didn't sin against my daddy, he still gave me constructive criticism based on my background. He is somebody who knows my heart, know my personality, and somebody who knows me. It's like our relationship with our Heavenly Father. He already knows us from the inside out, and we know as Christians, that God protects us and is for us. We know we truly have a relationship with God and trust Him when is commands look more like love than like rules to us. When we address Him by bringing our problems and flaws to Him we can always count on righteous judgement and on the right advice. It can be another story when it comes to people. We should always discern the intentions behind conversations and questions. Authentication? Bombination? Condemnation? Conviction? Pretension? Reconciliation? We need to keep in mind that the important thing is not that we are more willing to defend "men and women of God", including ourselves, because we're not perfect. The important thing is that we defend God (Jesus) at all costs, even though He doesn't need defending, but who we stick of for first is ultimately a reflection of who we're really trusting in to change us - ourselves, others, or the One true living God?

We Live

We Live

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

We live in a land where consequences for your actions 

Is "persecution",

Telling the truth is 

"Accusation",

And who you are is 

"Speculation" from people who merely read what you write.

We live in a land where "love" is infatuation,

Where a woman's "not" pregnant at conception

Despite its definition,

Where saying sorry is meaningless defiant

"Reparation".

We live in a land where if something's not perfect,

It results in abolition,

Where big boobs, a big butt, and a tiny waist

Is viewed as "perfection",

And where caring about somebody's heart

Is nothing but a preconceived notion.

We live in a land where the world wide web

Is a huge, ugly, steel door for pornographic imaginations,

Where "love" is only a quick and fleeting sensation,

And where relationships have no healthy expectations.

We live in a land where we don't even follow our own constitution,

Where our freedom of speech is conditioned,

Especially if you're a Christian.

We live in a land where the church has become the epitome

Of selfish devotion,

Where helping the needy has really become "stagnation",

And where the church doesn't even know the meaning of Jesus's resurrection. 

We live in a land where very few things see consummation,

Where there's few that actually know the meaning of consecration,

And where so many people quit this walk 

Because of condemnation.

We live in a land where condemnation is confused with conviction,

Where we don't have to work out our salvation,

And where people don't have the encouragement to change

Because of excommunication.

We live in a land where -

Well you get the point.

What is the point of this life..

That we live if not for a greater purpose..

To rise above the status quo..

And put a stop to this.

What is the point if not to reject what we've learned

And accept more of what our Creator knows?

His promise.

The Idolatry Of Ignorance

    God is a God of order. (1 Corinthians 14:33 - "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace..") Therefore, He is also a God of logic. How many of us can say we have a logical rebuttal for the questions we face everyday? I can confidently tell you this from experience; I have found that when my reply is logical I stay at peace. I have found that when I don't know the answer that humility is better than ignorant malarkey. Taking a moment to search out the answer thoroughly is better than assuming and speaking figuratively. So how many of you can say you have studied God's Word? I know I can and I don't say that in a manner of pride and you know why? Because no matter how much you have studied God's Word in your lifetime there will always be more to learn from Him, and often those things will be from the same things you have studied previously.

    I wonder if you're one of the few who do because I am baffled at people's lack of response to this one question that I see many Christians often receive, including me: "If God was a loving God then why does He send people to hell?" I want to clarify the answers for those who would appreciate a better understanding of this by posing some questions myself. Why would a loving God force you to go to heaven when you have chosen the opposite (the one true living God, not falsified images posing as God or idols that take on the form of television, music, books, friends, family, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, your phone, work, food, bacon, etc.)? We all are on this earth right now either learning hell's language or heaven's and whatever language we choose to learn and to live will take us to its destination by the path we individually have chosen to walk on. So would God be a God of love if He forced us on that path of faith when we didn't want to be? Simply put, you choose it and you choose the consequence of it. This isn't just for the unbelievers. It's for the believers alike. I am not exempt from this because I often find me writing to myself in my blog posts. Thanks to God, I am no stranger to the things I need to work on.

    Are we truly on the path of faith or are we cruising the freeway doing what we want whenever we want? Can an active follower of Jesus hold anything higher than the Name above all names? No. What we believe is not what we say; it's what we do and what we do and what we live out is a reflection of our thoughts. Whatever consumes most of our time, whatever we think and dream most about is an idol. So I want to encourage you all today to take captive your thoughts for they exceedingly are the root of what's lost. Hide His Word in your heart because everything you do flows from it, everything you think flows from it, and know that you can win by focusing upon the cross. I know some of you may be struggling with unforgiveness, lust, insecurity, fear, self-hatred, hate, bitterness, you name it; we've all been there. Also, we can all overcome by the blood of the Lamb. I encourage you to declare your freedom today by taking captive your thoughts. Use the authority God has given you as a child of the Most High by not letting the devil have control over you anymore and meditate this week on these verses: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ," and Philippians 4:8 - "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." It's going to take training your thoughts, but I promise you that in the end it is so very worth it.

The People Pleaser Reader

    Have you ever went out and fed the homeless and had someone tell you that you're focusing on works to be saved? Have you ever preached about grace and had someone tell you that you're using it as an excuse? Have you ever preached against sin and had someone call you legalistic? Have you ever preached about God's will and had someone say you believe in the law of attraction? Have you ever preached about reaping what you sow and had someone say you're this or that because it's karma? Have you ever preached about humility and had someone say you're prideful because you're preaching about humility? Have you ever preached the law of righteousness and had someone tell you it's not love? Have you ever felt confident and had someone call you conceited only to make you go back to feeling insecure? Have you ever preached about purity and had someone tell you that because of your past you can't? Have you ever used wisdom and had someone demand that you can trust them? Have you ever tried to reconcile God's way only to have someone reject you? Have you ever told the truth to a friend only to have them say you're judgmental? 

    Have you ever? I know I have many times. First off, I want to encourage you to examine your motives. 2 Corinthians 11:28 - "Examine your motives, test your heart, come to this meal in holy awe."  Please take into account that what people say might be true and that we're all going to be put to the test. From experience of impure motives I had to take a look at my actions before I could see others reactions in the right light. Proverbs 16:2 - "All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD." Secondly, if you put your words to the test of God's and find that you're in right-standing with Him then please don't let people's misinterpretations and assumptions discourage you from your walk. So many times I've let people steal my peace just because I let in what they were pushing on me. No. More. 1 Corinthians 2:11 - "No one can know a person's thoughts except that person's own spirit, and no one can know God's thoughts except God's own spirit." If we are all doing what we're supposed to be doing by testing our hearts and testing spirits then our lives are pleasing to God.

    Life gets dangerous when we take our eyes off of Jesus. Many words, lies, assumptions, and hurts come our way and if we aren't living in the Spirit then those spirits can severely damage us. If we aren't living in the Spirit we are living in the flesh and if we're living in the flesh, we're focused on flesh. I used to let other people's words and actions affect me tremendously. I began to look at those people for my identity, my approval, and my affirmation. Believe me when I say that I'm still not perfect when it comes to that now, but I think we all do that at times and it hurts us even more so when those people were once close. We then start to live to try to please them, but we can't take things personally because people hurt us purposefully. When we accept what they say we reject what God's Word says about us. (Click Link For More) Ephesians 6:12 - "For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness of the unseen world." When we focus what's really at stake in the Spirit we see it for what it is - Satan using people to work against us. We start to see that their spirit is not in line with the Spirit. Luke 6:45 says, "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." After first examining ourselves we are able to execute righteous judgments about spirits when we test them. When we focus on Jesus we're able to see who we really are. We become a God pleaser like we should be because let's just be real; nobody has the time or the energy to please everybody! So honey, do yourself a favor and live to please your Father.

There's A Price To Pay

There's A Price To Pay

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

We all do what we've got to do to survive.

Truthfully it doesn't matter if we live or if we die..

Because if we don't die today

We might die tomorrow

And if we don't pray.. 

Then a bullet could be the price of our persona..

Or selling bad weed

At least it would be in the streets

While the price of a broke father of five is his worrying and anxiety

Being the possibility..

Of an OD.

While the price of an actress not getting naked in front of 

And off of the screen..

Is that all of her bank accounts..freeze.

Well I'm here today to tell you that the wages you make

Can never pay the price of sin.

Murderers, drug dealers, meth addicts

Jesus paid the price for all them.

The jealous, the impatient,

The zealous that don't match the heart of heaven

The haters, the players, the racists..

The complacent He died for all of them.

But the consequences for our sin

Will never add up to what He did.

And if He shed His blood and

Popped veins

So that we would be allowed to remain in the

Very things that caused Him pain

Then wouldn't you say...His death was all in vain?