Silky Smooth

Silky Smooth

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

I used to think having a job close to full time,

a car that I paid in full, listening to those hard rhymes,

& living without my parents at eighteen

made me all that I was supposed to be.

Little miss independent wasn't who she was supposed to be.

Then I started relying on God and in Him I had found my purpose.

He was the right compass, direction,

The protection provided to keep me from hurt,

From all that dirt that made me feel like I was worthless.

The story is I was fed all these lies from all these guys

telling me I was a loser, emotional abusers.

But hey, they were cute

and their smooth words absurd as they were

didn't bring me any closer to kicking them to the curb.

I knew those words were slurred with deception,

But I had a fear of their rejection and

I yearned for their affection.

The only way I learned to keep them was by seduction.

They were my security, a part of me.

My vision for success

was clad in a silky smooth immodest dress.

It was a plan that I ran and controlled.

It only ended up being a deadly hold on me.

This was not who I wanted to be.

That may have been success from a worldly view.

Then #God said, "I'm the only one who can make you new."

Reminded me I wouldn't be content in that and

I hadn't been in matter of fact.

I lacked the only thing I need.

No good deed would suffice until I turned my life around and gave it to Jesus Christ.

In Him I was made right and found all that I was looking for.

That very day was like I was walking through a brand new, unopened door.

Covered By The Blood

Covered By The Blood

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

Pitter patter of the rain on my window

Reminding me of the weight lifted off of my shoulders,

He is the holder of my heart.

How Great Thou Art.

The sound of the rain

Reminding me of the heart He made whole,

That very hole in this heart once void,

That very heart that was once destroyed,

toyed, and messed with.

He was the one who did best with it.

As I sit here under this window pane

Reminding me of the pain I felt and

dealt with I'm overjoyed with knowing

I've been covered by the Blood of the Lamb.

No longer damned to the outside world

or that very corner I had once sat,

 Curled up.

He forgave my mess ups.
I will worship that

I've been covered by the Blood of the Lamb.

Amen.

Time To Get Real Ya'll Part 2

    Do you know what depression feels like? If you do you know it's far from a good feeling. It feels like you've been sitting in a dark room for months with no spark of light to shed on the obscurity of your emotions. At least that's exactly how it made me feel. Depression entered into my life the year I found out I was going to go to a new school for sixth grade. I dreaded going back to school that year and when I did all of my fear was affirmed. I was made fun of a lot by this little boy just because I was new and that's when not only depression set in, but insecurity as well. I went through that year overwhelmed by the arduous school work and mean children making fun of me and bragging about their rich parents and big homes. What had bothered me the most then about these kids were that they weren't even being punished. The little boy was handed candy when he went to the principles office because of it.

    I eventually learned to cope with it and when I went back to school the next year that little boy ended up liking me. For a short time that had helped my insecurities, but the depression still remained. I didn't see the worth that God saw in me and I consequently looked to a relationship to fill it. Deep down I knew this relationship would fail, but it brought me temporary happiness so I would constantly be battling against myself about these which only watered and fed the depression. When it did end up failing I hit rock bottom. I turned to pills and often found myself popping five vico at a time in my cold, dark room hidden in the basement accompanied by all kinds of depressing music. I would constantly wish that I would die and I definitely tested my limits with it. I was walking on the edge taking excessive amounts of ibuprofen to ease the pain when vico and muscle relaxers ran out and I didn't care. As I got older the depression got worse and I grew numb to all that was around me.

    Later on in my life one negative thing after another kept throwing itself at me. I wasn't on good terms with my family. I wasn't living at home. I had no friends to talk to and once again I was in a relationship that was not of God's will. I continued to numb myself from everything and anything so that I didn't have to feel the pain of it all. My depression and stress got so bad that it gave me shingles at such a young age and yet again I was back into popping pills so that I didn't have to think about it all. When the relationship that I had been in at the time failed as expected that depression put me into an even deeper fog and again I let a bad influence into my life which bred into another relationship where they were manipulating, discouraging, and lying to me. That was the relationship I had talked about in Part One of this post. The day after he kicked me out I was supposed to hang out with my girl friend that I had made plans with a week previously.

    I called her to ask if I could stay the weekend until I could figure things out, but I didn't tell her what was going on. When I arrived at her house after work that day she said that I could stay as long as I like. She was living with her parents who have known me my whole life. It was there that I was encouraged back to following God and it was there that I began to take small steps. I got to a place where I was able to move back with my parents and my family's relationship with one another had began to heal. After a few more "snags" in my life and after softening my heart once again I had decided to give my all to God all over again. Since then he has delivered me from that depression. Before I was living in a fog unaware of the true devastation of the events in my life. I was hopeless and had no desire to dream, but since then I have found my hope in HIM. He enabled me to dream again by using someone to encourage me in doing just that. I have found joy! The chains of depression were broken and I was set free! <3

Proverbs 16:18

Proverbs 16:18

By: Elaina Morgan

Enemies will never quit it, get it.

They let themselves be blinded by those lies, 

Ruined by their pride.

But they have nothing good to offer.

Just let your answer grow a little bit softer.

Their only focus is on how to make you "better."

Try to cover who you are like a heavy sweater.

They know of no such thing as a true love letter.

They say they only want the best for you.

But they only want what they think's due.

Those aren't the models you want to be looking up to.

They puff it up.

Puff you up.

Take you down.

Like a city rundown.

Kind of like Motown, they represent the D.

But they're only representin the bad seeds, 

No, not me.

They're lackin good deeds.

Goal's to try to make you bitter 

Coating every ugly thing in glitter.

They stalkin every single move you're making on your Twitter.

I'll give them one thing.

They ain't quitters.

They think they able

Layin everythin on the table.

They think they tough,

Arrested in cuffs, 

They quick to lie, homicide.

Won't get caught. 

Or so they thought.

Think listening to us will make them weak.

They goin 'round week by week.

It's the same ol thing. 

They wanna drink.

They wanna shed blood.

Tell em about the one who shed His blood.

Pause.

Wasn't for a lost cause.

Wasn't ours.

Yet He gave it so willingly.

I hope I'm makin sense lyrically.

Stop the stupidity

Start goin prodigiously.

Always sayin go big or go home.

Well where's your home?

I hope you know.

Love Changes Everything

Love Changes Everything

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

We're too consumed with judging other people's sin

When we need to remember we were once there with them.

No judgement changed us, sustained us.

It only shortchanged us

But then we go and do that to one another like we forgot what it felt like.

We start showing dislike.

By that they're only a confirmation of their condemnation,

An abomination.

No, what does God's word say?

Because of His love the price was already paid.

So stop delaying what God already said.

Stop weighing all of the fabric of their sin

'Cause they won't realize that they'll win 

If they turn from it accepting Him.

It was His love that changed us,

You know Jesus?

His love turned things around.

Thorns as a crown,

Beaten to the ground

He did it willingly.

On such a ghastly day

We killed Him in such a nasty way.

But just as he promised He rose in three days

In such a glorious way.

Now how are they going to see their life changed

In a way that glorifies His name

If all we do is shoot a lofty glance,

Cast a look off like they don't even deserve a chance.

Well let me tell you,
 None of us do.

Yet He still made all of us brand new.

So why do you treat them like they're any different,

And so blatant?

The problem isn't with them.

It's with us.

Start showing love and stop throwing people under the bus

Because it's love that changed everything,
 If anything

And it's not our job to be disparaging.

'Cause that only breaks the church up

So instead start building one another up,

Lifting one another up in prayer.

And start showing people that you really, truly care.

Time To Get Real Y'all

    It's time to get real. I'm cool if anyone wants to judge me after they read this because I am secure in Christ and I rest my head in what I know God says about me. No one's perfect and I accept that I am far from it, but I know I'd be even further from it without Christ. I am just SO taken by His love and all that He has brought me out of that I have to share with you what He has done in my life. I was talking to someone a few months ago. This person doesn't know Christ, but we had been talking about the Christmas party that we had and they had mentioned that I seemed like I was high there. I was so shocked at this because I hadn't been and I knew the reason why it seemed that way. I was so overcome by stress and depression that I had numbed myself to everything that was going on in my life because that whole year I had been hurt terribly by several people. In that I had lost myself. I was broken. It was like I was in a fog. I went through life not even feeling like I was living and to this very day I barely can remember any of it. That was because I wasn't living in God's plan for my life. I was far from it.

    You see I had been introduced to sexual sin in the fourth grade. I was so young that I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know the depth of what God was saying when He said to refrain from ALL fornication before marriage. I was embarassed to ask my parents to clarify it and so I continued on that path. Did I mention I'm a pastor's kid? I didn't think that would go over very well. Anyways, I continued on that very path. I had struggled with it for so long that it had become an addiction. I was bound by it and I had once been delivered from it, but I fell back into it when I felt pressure and gave into it once more because of the people I had let speak into my life and because I felt that that was what love was. My view on love was so twisted then. At the time I had been going through other things that had put me in that place of depression. I had lost sight of God, but God did NOT lose sight of me. I remember a time where I felt so gone that I thought I wasn't even worthy enough to pray to the God I believe in.

    I had fell in deeper as time went on. I was stuck in a position with no where to live that ended up leading me to live with my boyfriend at the time. I knew it was wrong, but living with him seemed better than living on the streets. In the way I was focusing on it being better than living on the streets it was, but in the spiritual aspect there was nothing better about it. I felt stuck and I didn't know how to get out of this situation. I ended up deciding to give talking to God a try and I found myself always praying the same, short prayer in the shower when I had a chance to be alone, "God, I don't know how to get out of this. Help." I felt abandoned by all and I had nothing left to give. Now this didn't go away just like that. My boyfriend at the time ended up kicking me out the day after he told me he loved me for the first time so that he could be with another woman. It hurt me A LOT, but I didn't fight it because I knew this was what I was asking for. Deliverance from all the sexual sin I had been in wasn't an easy journey. It took work. It took encouragement which I'd often have to do for myself because I was often condemned for my struggles. No one wanted to listen. They just wanted it to stop, but like I said, it wasn't easy. After 10 years of struggling I was set free. God had delivered me from the place I was in and the process sure did hurt, but the healing and hope that I felt once again was WELL WORTH IT. I decided to share this with you because I want you to be encouraged. He saved someone like me and He can do the same for you. I believe in God because without Him I'd be in the same place that I once was: hopeless, depressed, bound by my lust, bound by pill popping, and suicidal. If you're struggling don't be ashamed to seek help from someone you trust. Remember that anything is possible in God and TO HIM BE THE GLORY.

Take Captive

    Sometimes we get so caught up in our emotions that we let them control us. We let them be the deciding factor for what we say and believe about ourselves. That's pretty dangerous! Our feelings often lie to us and when we aren't conscious to the fact that they do that then we start believing those lies. I'm sure every single one of you have felt at some point that nobody loves you, cares, or is there for you. I sure have felt that way several times in my life, but then we start to dwell on those lies and then they become a reality for us. As Christians we need to identify these false declarations that we let into our hearts and minds and remember what God's word says. 2 Corinthians 10:5 states, "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ," and that verse not only goes for what you're speaking into your life, but it also goes for what others speak into your life.

    Other people's opinions of you do not define who you are. When someone says something that cuts you deep take it to God and ask Him what He thinks about you. Remind yourself that YOU are a child of the Most High and that He cares for you. He hurts when you're hurting. He grieves when you grieve. He created YOU and He loves YOU. Remind yourself of the truth that has been written in His book. He said for us to take every thought captive. He didn't say only the ones that  hurt a lot or only the ones that people would give you a crazy look if they ever found out what was going through your head. We all go through this and we often beat ourselves up or start believing the enemies lies. Here's a reminder for you: they're called lies for a reason! They aren't the truth! Praise God. Anything that does not line up with His Word is not from Him. If you look up to someone because they're in an authoritative position but they're not speaking life into you then take captive your thoughts and look to the one who DOES give life! Be encouraged.

    It's so very important to cheer ourselves on just as much as we're supposed to cheer each other on. We're brothers and sisters in Christ and we should be lifting one another up instead of tearing one another down. Do not let your lone focus be on someone else to help you with what you're going through because only God can truly change someone from the inside out. People will fail you, but take control and don't fail yourself by not seeking help. Get an accountability partner, but let your main focus be on the Lord. Don't beat yourself up and tell yourself you'll never be free if you're struggling with sin. Hide His word in your heart so that you can recognize when lies come creeping up on you. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is FAITHFUL, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." Start believing in yourself. You can do it and you can be free by the power of the Holy Spirit. You say you believe in God, but I wonder do you trust Him?