Last week I was really struggling with fighting this feeling of fear I've had to endure. There was definitely some spiritual warfare going on because I was taking action in something that has been long awaiting. That thing being making amends with my family. Let me tell you that a pastor's family is NOT perfect! It's not in the least bit. We have to deal with normal family issues and it is important to take care of them as they come up. It should not be put into our hands, but into God's. When we give our problems to God they are taken care of in the way that they should be as long as we are following in His footsteps and doing what we can to arrive at the point of peace. Now what does this have to do with fear?
The story is quite lengthy so I will try my best to shorten it. I brought up family because we had been struggling with a few things. I had moved out and since things have been restored I am coming back home VERY soon! I am so excited and I cannot wait for this new chapter to be written in my life. It will definitely be one of restoration and I am looking forward to seeing what's to come. Anyways at the beginning of last week I began to take action to strive for peace and God helped me reach that goal, but let me tell you that the spiritual warfare that I had faced later that week was real. I had definitely expected it so I knew I was in dire need of more time with God. I am currently living with my friend and they are in the midst of doing the upstairs shower so I had to go to the basement to take mine. Everytime I went down there I would get this overwhelming fear.
I knew it wasn't a coincidence so I would 2 Timothy 1:7. It says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." So I was telling my friend about this and she told me to claim authority over it as well. I told her that I had been doing that as well but that I would do it again. So I preceded to make my way to the bathroom and felt even more fear than I had before. This time I claimed authority out loud and then my mind wasn't on that fear once I had walked into the bathroom. So I preceded to take my shower and just as I was washing the conditioner out of my hair I heard a huge bang followed by glass shattering. The picture on the adjacent wall had fallen. It had startled me at first, but I wouldn't let fear consume me once more because I knew that fear was not of God.
Once I got out of the shower I saw that hundreds of pieces of glass were laying ontop of each other on the floor like a bunch of puzzle pieces that were meant to be connected to each other. I looked at the wall. The nail was still intact and not only was it intact; it was completely horizontal. It don't believe it was a coincidence. I believe the devil was working overtime to overwhelm me with fear once more. As if that wasn't enough I went downstairs the next day to once again take a shower. I was about to leave the bathroom when I saw a spider sitting right in front of the door preventing me from leaving. I don't like spiders so I climbed ontop of the counter and waited for it to crawl ALLLLL the way to the other side of the room after several attempts of throwing bars of soap and anything else that was accessible from the bathroom counter.
Of course I missed every single shot I could take to kill the thing so you can only imagine how relieved I was when he decided to make his way as far from the door as he could be in order for me to muster up the courage to walk out of that door with confidence that he wouldn't crawl up my leg. Was this coincidence? I don't know and I don't care. It was just one more thing to make my heart stop for another second that it should have been beating. I thought that it was quite funny actually! My whole point is that when you speak authority and have faith in God to help you through the things you need to overcome He answers. It frequently ends up not being in our own timing, but when it's in His timing it is always perfect. It always ends up being before we break. Now I have one more thing to say before I am done with this post. I previously mentioned that I am going back home with my parents.
Before I even started this blog I was living elsewhere. I had attended my last youth camp in August the month before I began to write this. The only thing I got from camp that year was that I was supposed to go home so when I had arrived back from camp I had talked to my parents about coming back home. Things were not looking up for me. They were in fact looking darker and darker. I pretty much said to God, "Pft, there is no way I am ever going back now." I ended up forgetting what God told me at camp, but after the beginning of last week when things started taking a huge turn for me it was brought back to my memory. In fact I think I might have written about it in one of my journals if I am not mistaken. I wish I had kept believing God to do what He said He would do. But this has definitely made my faith grow so much more. I know that God ALWAYS keeps His promises no matter how hopeless the situation looks.
P.S. I'm going homeeee!! :D (My earthly home....one day it will be to my real home so I can be with Him:))
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