7 Things God Taught Me About Relationships

    I'm not normally the type of person who would write these type of blog posts and I'm not a fan of mushiness. For example, the only way I'll ever watch a chick flick is if it's comedic. Don't get me wrong. I would love to be married and have a family of my own one day, but right now that isn't my top priority. My top priority would be focusing on my relationship with God. I've been asking Him to bring things to the surface, and He definitely did that by making me more self-aware of what I need healing in and what habits I've learned that I need to unlearn. So when I was thinking about how He loves me by doing that, I connected it with how a man should love a woman and vice versa. 

    Seven things on how God loves the church that should translate to how husbands/boyfriends should love their wives/girlfriends:

1.) God relentlessly pursues me.

• He doesn't give up on you even when you give up on Him. He runs to meet the prodigal son/daughter with arms wide open.
• How does this apply? Sometimes this means that the man reflects on where he is at and what he needs to work on (physically, spiritually, emotionally, and even socially) before he starts the chase,  and for a woman this can mean that she reflects on where she is at and what she needs to work on before she is caught. (You're not God. Get over it.) If you're not ready then it is not wise to get into a relationship. After God gives you the go ahead as a man then ask her out. Though I am not married, I know that this shouldn't stop after you are.

2.) God completely knows me.

• He already knows everything, but we're constantly changing and He keeps up with it. He knows every hair on our head, and knows when we lost one because of stress. He knows our past, present, and future. He knows why we do what we do and knows our intentions.
• How does this apply? From the standpoint of a woman, there is nothing more attractive than a man who expresses interest in everything there is to know about you (and if you're a man then you would know if this applies to how you feel). To take your time to become a student of all of her (his) likes and dislikes, to search out why she (he) does the little things that bug the crap out of you, to express interest in how her (his) day went, what means a lot to her (him), etc. speaks volumes. Our personalities are constantly changing so until the day you die you will be getting to know your partner more. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, stay single.

3.) God actively loves me.

• He doesn't just tell you that He loves you; He impact-fully and unconditionally shows you. When we pursue Him with the same passion in which He pursues us, we start to reflect holiness. He doesn't stop and wants to see you receive it.
• How does this apply? A lot of us know 1 Corinthians 13. We cannot do this without God in the center of any relationship. We must be willing to lay down our lives for the other person and make sacrifices. We are to be persevering, patient, kind, not jealous, boastful, or proud. We are to not behave rudely, seek our own, think evil, be provoked, and we are to rejoice in the truth. It sounds like a chore, doesn't it? Well when you truly know God, you truly know how to love and whether you know how will be a reflection in your actions.

4.) God gently leads me.

• He isn't a dictator. He is a a leader. He isn't a controller. He is an encourager, informing us that we have two options - the path of destruction or the path of life. He drops loving reminders (conviction) instead of pointing fingers (condemnation).
• How does this apply? This applies mostly to the men. This does not mean that you are superior to women. Men and women are to honor each other alike. A leader does not push a rope; he pulls it, leading by example. This is not based on my biases or other's. This is the dynamic God meant from the beginning of time. Ladies, there is a big difference between masculinity and manipulation. Masculinity is protective, not abusive. If he demands you should submit to him, especially before you're married then he does not know God's Word. He should gently and directly point you to the Word of God and then ladies, you should submit. Men, this means you are to lead spiritually. How can you do that at all if you aren't praying and reading God's Word faithfully? Take a stand and be a man. It is so very important for you to know each other's character, especially before you get married. It feels like a chore to love someone wholeheartedly who can't lead you in a marriage and to love someone who questions your every decision.  (Ephesians 5:22-33)

5.) God effectively helps me.

• He is our provider. When we are struggling He helps us by what He has given us in His living Word. When we are in need, He comes to our rescue. (Sometimes it's not in the physical realm, but rest assured that if it isn't then it is provision for you spiritually.)
• How does this apply? I don't want to come off as sexist, but in Ephesians 5 men are told to nourish and cherish their bride. This means spiritually (though as women we are to trust in God for this above man), emotionally, physically (when married), and financially is included in this. Timothy 5:8 is a scary verse for those who think that it's not. I have heard so many men deny this just so that they can have some excuse for being lazy, and in all fairness to the men; women, this does not give you permission to be a gold digger. When you marry a man, if he loses his job, are you willing to persevere for rich or for poor? Both genders are to try their hardest at everything no matter the "cost".

6.) God adamantly encourages me.

• He constantly will bring to remembrance how He sees you if you will take the time to listen. He says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You're His beloved. You are the apple of His eye (and no one can take your place to Him) He made you unique and loves you in your own special way, as if you were the only one who ever existed to Him. He doesn't stop until you believe it.
• How does this apply? Ultimately our identity as men and women is to be found in Christ, but regarding relationships we are to encourage in the same manner. When your woman/man is feeling down be quick to build up their self-esteem. We find security in each other and don't go looking anywhere else for it when we feel confident in what our partner thinks. You can never give too much encouragement - ever. It has been said that when someone hurts you with their words, you need to be told the opposite of it ten times for you to actually believe it. P.S. Don't you dare go looking for it anywhere else if you're reading this feeling like you don't get enough encouragement. YOU make decisions based on no one else but YOU.

7.) God thoroughly listens to me.

• He doesn't just hear you. He listens to you. He wants to hear what you have to say and how you're feeling about the day. He is fully focused on you and you alone. If you have a request of Him, He will listen, though He won't always grant it. When He doesn't grant it just to please you, He is protecting you because He sees and knows the bigger picture.
• How does this apply? This is another big one. There is nothing sexier than someone listening to you intently by holding onto every word you say and relaying those words back to you. We all have been where we will hear a person, but not listen. Soak whatever it is they say in. Pray about problems. Receive restoration. Seek to understand and set goals together.

    I love and appreciate your feedback and thoughts, and just want to take the time to say thank you. So those are my two cents, or seven. Ha ha. Comment yours below: