Too Many Fish in the Sea

    This is for all the single people who are always told, "There's plenty of fish in the sea." Truthfully, I'm one of the people who never really cared about romantic relationships in the realm that they weren't something I needed in my life. That's my problem; even though I have been in more relationships than I care to admit, I didn't care to understand them and I guess it took getting hit on this week by a 40 something year old "Christian", a girl, and a co-worker who is a little confused on what he believes for me to actually start caring and realizing that I should seek more of an understanding about relationships. I would have rather done without these awkward moments and somehow my backhanded nos don't seem sufficient enough for those situations. I really try to avoid them like a plague because they're so uncomfortable to me. I should not feel bad though for the beliefs that I hold onto: my belief in God, my belief in Jesus, and my belief in the Bible.

    However, I don't want to talk about everything that's biblically wrong with those three instances. Instead, I want to talk about when you know the one is "the one". I'm going to be honest in saying that I personally don't know if there is "the one" and would love to find out if there is, but I do know that when it's the right one you will be at peace but it's so much more than that. You can find the picture perfect man or woman who has everything, and I don't mean just in the physical realm; I mean they can take care of your emotional, mental, and maybe even spiritual needs, but if their God given purpose is not somehow parallel with yours then one of you two will end up sacrificing what God called you to do. There is also the big factor of being unequally yoked.

    2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" My thoughts on this verse are that it goes further than being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. I believe you can be unequally yoked with a believer these days as well. We cannot pick and choose from the Bible what we want to believe; and unfortunately we have a lot of lukewarm believers who believe they can do that, but that's the exact thing that they are - simply believers and not doers. They have no substance and are weak in their faith. Revelation 3:16 says, "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." That is a bold statement, beloveds. We either obey Him or we perish, simple as that.

    So boldly put, not everyone is on the same path as you and they will end up pulling you away, intentionally or unintentionally from your relationship with God and your individual purpose. They are not on the same page and frankly, are not God's will for your life as a mature Christian. It will be the wreck of you if you try to make it so. Know that there wouldn't be a heaven if there were no hell, honey. Matthew 7:14 says that the road is narrow and there are very few people who find it. I'm sure that this also dwindles down any option of who you might think is "the one". Thank God. I have one last thought that I want to pose: Most of the time we pray asking God about things, but we forget that a lot of times His answer, instruction, and direction was already given. It's called the Bible, and how many of us who say that we're Christians actually read it and use it? So does what your potentials say and live match the Word of God? If the answer is no then honey, know that God's got better for you and that it will definitely be worth the wait.

7 Things God Taught Me About Relationships

    I'm not normally the type of person who would write these type of blog posts and I'm not a fan of mushiness. For example, the only way I'll ever watch a chick flick is if it's comedic. Don't get me wrong. I would love to be married and have a family of my own one day, but right now that isn't my top priority. My top priority would be focusing on my relationship with God. I've been asking Him to bring things to the surface, and He definitely did that by making me more self-aware of what I need healing in and what habits I've learned that I need to unlearn. So when I was thinking about how He loves me by doing that, I connected it with how a man should love a woman and vice versa. 

    Seven things on how God loves the church that should translate to how husbands/boyfriends should love their wives/girlfriends:

1.) God relentlessly pursues me.

• He doesn't give up on you even when you give up on Him. He runs to meet the prodigal son/daughter with arms wide open.
• How does this apply? Sometimes this means that the man reflects on where he is at and what he needs to work on (physically, spiritually, emotionally, and even socially) before he starts the chase,  and for a woman this can mean that she reflects on where she is at and what she needs to work on before she is caught. (You're not God. Get over it.) If you're not ready then it is not wise to get into a relationship. After God gives you the go ahead as a man then ask her out. Though I am not married, I know that this shouldn't stop after you are.

2.) God completely knows me.

• He already knows everything, but we're constantly changing and He keeps up with it. He knows every hair on our head, and knows when we lost one because of stress. He knows our past, present, and future. He knows why we do what we do and knows our intentions.
• How does this apply? From the standpoint of a woman, there is nothing more attractive than a man who expresses interest in everything there is to know about you (and if you're a man then you would know if this applies to how you feel). To take your time to become a student of all of her (his) likes and dislikes, to search out why she (he) does the little things that bug the crap out of you, to express interest in how her (his) day went, what means a lot to her (him), etc. speaks volumes. Our personalities are constantly changing so until the day you die you will be getting to know your partner more. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, stay single.

3.) God actively loves me.

• He doesn't just tell you that He loves you; He impact-fully and unconditionally shows you. When we pursue Him with the same passion in which He pursues us, we start to reflect holiness. He doesn't stop and wants to see you receive it.
• How does this apply? A lot of us know 1 Corinthians 13. We cannot do this without God in the center of any relationship. We must be willing to lay down our lives for the other person and make sacrifices. We are to be persevering, patient, kind, not jealous, boastful, or proud. We are to not behave rudely, seek our own, think evil, be provoked, and we are to rejoice in the truth. It sounds like a chore, doesn't it? Well when you truly know God, you truly know how to love and whether you know how will be a reflection in your actions.

4.) God gently leads me.

• He isn't a dictator. He is a a leader. He isn't a controller. He is an encourager, informing us that we have two options - the path of destruction or the path of life. He drops loving reminders (conviction) instead of pointing fingers (condemnation).
• How does this apply? This applies mostly to the men. This does not mean that you are superior to women. Men and women are to honor each other alike. A leader does not push a rope; he pulls it, leading by example. This is not based on my biases or other's. This is the dynamic God meant from the beginning of time. Ladies, there is a big difference between masculinity and manipulation. Masculinity is protective, not abusive. If he demands you should submit to him, especially before you're married then he does not know God's Word. He should gently and directly point you to the Word of God and then ladies, you should submit. Men, this means you are to lead spiritually. How can you do that at all if you aren't praying and reading God's Word faithfully? Take a stand and be a man. It is so very important for you to know each other's character, especially before you get married. It feels like a chore to love someone wholeheartedly who can't lead you in a marriage and to love someone who questions your every decision.  (Ephesians 5:22-33)

5.) God effectively helps me.

• He is our provider. When we are struggling He helps us by what He has given us in His living Word. When we are in need, He comes to our rescue. (Sometimes it's not in the physical realm, but rest assured that if it isn't then it is provision for you spiritually.)
• How does this apply? I don't want to come off as sexist, but in Ephesians 5 men are told to nourish and cherish their bride. This means spiritually (though as women we are to trust in God for this above man), emotionally, physically (when married), and financially is included in this. Timothy 5:8 is a scary verse for those who think that it's not. I have heard so many men deny this just so that they can have some excuse for being lazy, and in all fairness to the men; women, this does not give you permission to be a gold digger. When you marry a man, if he loses his job, are you willing to persevere for rich or for poor? Both genders are to try their hardest at everything no matter the "cost".

6.) God adamantly encourages me.

• He constantly will bring to remembrance how He sees you if you will take the time to listen. He says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You're His beloved. You are the apple of His eye (and no one can take your place to Him) He made you unique and loves you in your own special way, as if you were the only one who ever existed to Him. He doesn't stop until you believe it.
• How does this apply? Ultimately our identity as men and women is to be found in Christ, but regarding relationships we are to encourage in the same manner. When your woman/man is feeling down be quick to build up their self-esteem. We find security in each other and don't go looking anywhere else for it when we feel confident in what our partner thinks. You can never give too much encouragement - ever. It has been said that when someone hurts you with their words, you need to be told the opposite of it ten times for you to actually believe it. P.S. Don't you dare go looking for it anywhere else if you're reading this feeling like you don't get enough encouragement. YOU make decisions based on no one else but YOU.

7.) God thoroughly listens to me.

• He doesn't just hear you. He listens to you. He wants to hear what you have to say and how you're feeling about the day. He is fully focused on you and you alone. If you have a request of Him, He will listen, though He won't always grant it. When He doesn't grant it just to please you, He is protecting you because He sees and knows the bigger picture.
• How does this apply? This is another big one. There is nothing sexier than someone listening to you intently by holding onto every word you say and relaying those words back to you. We all have been where we will hear a person, but not listen. Soak whatever it is they say in. Pray about problems. Receive restoration. Seek to understand and set goals together.

    I love and appreciate your feedback and thoughts, and just want to take the time to say thank you. So those are my two cents, or seven. Ha ha. Comment yours below:

A Reason for Every Season

    When a baby wants his mother's milk he cries and cries until he gets it. Humankind is impatient. We were all born into a sinful world so until someone taught us the art of being patient or until we ended up learning for ourselves down the road it was our nature. I assume that you're all Christians, but if you're not don't stop reading - this could apply to you too!

    If you are a Christian you were made BRAND NEW. You have made a commitment to die to your flesh daily and let the Holy Spirit take control of your thoughts, desires, words, and actions. You then are choosing to live in GOD' S will for your life. Then comes the question that we're all impatient in waiting for the answer: what is my purpose? Maybe for you that question looks like: what should I go to school for, who should I marry, what job should I take, OR maybe God's revealed something to you and you're trying to make it happen in your own timing. Let me tell you that it won't work.

(Left to right: Erika, dad, Evan, mom, Elyse, and me (Elaina lol))

    I think I was four or five the one Christmas where my mum told me I got less presents than all my other siblings. My lower lip started quivering and I ended up crying these big "crocodile tears". I didn't wait for her to tell me that it was because one of my presents was more expensive than any one of my other siblings' and that's why I had fewer presents than them. So as the other kids opened up the rest of their presents I waited for my last one while I sat on my daddy's lap crying. Then it came the time when I got to open up my last one. I waited in sour anticipation as they were bringing it up from the basement because I was hurt my mum told me earlier that I had to wait. My dad brought it into the eighties decor family room. It was a big present! I opened it with excitement and it ended up being the dollhouse I REALLY wanted. 

    The point of that story was that we already know that God has a great and fulfilling purpose in store for us. There are times where sometimes we have to step out in faith but when we are waiting for His answer we're often not patient (that includes having a good attitude) and then when we do have the answer we try to make it happen instead of learning the lesson He meant for us to learn on this journey: to trust in HIM and HIS timing and HIS way of doing things. We need to realize that some seasons are for planting, some are for growing, and some are for reaping the harvest. Don't try to rush to the season you want; you might miss a very important step.

    So when it seems like all of your friends, family, or even your enemies are ahead of you in life remember trust in God. (Read Ecclesiastes 3)
that we're not in competition with them. We are to walk where God wants us to walk in anticipation of good things, wait patiently where God wants us to wait, and praise Him joyfully no matter where we are. You never know where He's going to take you or what He's doing in you. So your task is easy: sit back, relax, and

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest...."

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in ALL you do, and He will show you which path to take."

Ecclesiastes 7:8 - "Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride."

Romans 15:5 - "May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus."

So Much More!

    My heart over the past couple of weeks has been to encourage my fellow believers in Jesus Christ with the following: First off, I want to tell you all that this is not about me, but about God who has been working through me. I had been feeling discouragement in where the direction of my life was headed. He had given me big dreams, but I had no idea where they were going. It seemed like a dead end, however my passion was obvious. Over the past week or so I had been praying that God would expand my influence so I could speak into many young ladies' lives and let me tell you, He answered that prayer and not because it was my timing, but it was HIS timing and not because they were in the way I had envisioned them, but in the way HE envisioned them. I am joyed to be able to tell you that He had answered them in an even bigger way than I had EVER dreamed.

 

    How does this apply to you, precious ones? I am not telling you to discourage you if you are in a dry season. I am here to encourage you to have FAITH. God did NOT put you on this earth to be ordinary, but EXTRAORDINARY and to be able to share in HIS glory. Do not envy anyone else's call because He is going to use you in the areas that you will be the most effective. BUT, you HAVE to take ACTION. It is dire. When He says move, MOVE. When He says stay put, STAY PUT.

When He says speak, SPEAK. When He says listen, LISTEN. Staying put, however, disregards staying put in your relationship with God. We are called to GROW and NEVER to be stagnant and I do NOT care what it takes for that to happen. Be WILLING and CONTINUALLY be in prayer about being humble.

 

    Most importantly, we must live by the HOLY SPIRIT. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide. Cover yourself in the blood of Jesus. Pray purity over your hearts, minds, emotions, words, and your desires. Pray that HIS will be done, not yours. When God moves pride can become a huge epidemic in your relationship with God and it will not be able to thrive in it. Be on WATCH. Beloved ones, I pray that you will be encouraged to stay in tune to the Holy Spirit and this will be the start of your COMPLETE deliverance.

 

2 Corinthians 6:6 ~ "We prove ourselves by our PURITY, our UNDERSTANDING, our PATIENCE, our KINDNESS, by the HOLY SPIRIT within US, and by our SINCERE LOVE."