Operation: Address the Mess

   I arrived home from work and walked into my apartment building only to be greeted by a bird flying almost square into my face last night. I guess that's what happens when you live in the ghetto burbs ha-ha. After that I was finally able to relax, but admittedly not for long. I have my gorgeous, softhearted friend who I haven't seen since last year coming into town this weekend. My apartment wasn't ready for company and my schedule is pretty much booked for the rest of the week. There was a small trail of clothes starting at the front door that led to my bathroom. There were magazines, mail, and newspapers forming a club on my coffee table. The way my shoes trickled out of my closet, and the way the sleeves on my shirts seemed to be reaching out for my attention would have had you believe that there were surely monsters in there. I was exhausted. Surprisingly, my kitchen sink was empty.

    I couldn't help but look at next month's schedule after that: my brother coming into town, a bridal shower, a bacherolette party, a mixer, two weddings, another wedding the next month, you name it. I dared not complain though because there once was a time where I probably complained about being bored. In fact, I'm actually looking forward to all of these fun filled events and cannot wait to reach each weekend, and hopefully with grace. Here's where I started to get things a little twisted: I was dwelling too much on what I have to do to get ready for these events and not enough on slowing down so that I will be able to enjoy them. As I look back, I am reminded of the Bible story about Mary and Martha. 

    Martha was so consumed in making everything perfect for Jesus while Mary sat at His feet and enjoyed His presence. My problem wasn't that I was not spending enough time with God. My problem was I wasn't spending quality time with God by basking in and enjoying His company throughout the day. Because of this I was worrying and full of anxiety instead of resting and putting my trust in Jesus. I know that the only way I can deal with the problems that I face and the busyness of life is by spending my time in His presence so that He can heal my pain and give me rest so I can recharge. While I spend time in His presence He reveals to me my true state and truthfully, it's not where I want to be. I yearn for so much more. I want to get to know Him deeper. I want to have a divine revelation of His love. I want to understand His power more and more. I want to be a dedicated slave to Jesus. I want to obey. I want to be content in my circumstances, but not in my relationship with Him. I want more.

So today I will relay the word that the Lord gave me this morning for you all:

Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, again I say rejoice! No matter what you're struggling with, no matter what temptations grab for your attention, no matter the busyness of your schedule or the lack thereof, no matter your circumstances - good or bad, no matter your home life, no matter your work situation, no matter your social "status" REJOICE. There is a shift that takes place in the atmosphere and in our thoughts when we give Him thanks instead of complaints. You can do this today. I believe in you and most importantly Jesus believes in you.

    You see, beloved, as we put our trust in Him to do the work in us it starts to happen. We come to a place where we learn to fully rely on God and not on our own efforts. We have to address the mess and realize that the only one who can truly free us is Jesus. This is where we arrive at a place where we can successfully advance to what He has for us next because we are willing to deal with the now. For example, you can't arrive at your destination safely without taking your car to a mechanic to get your oil changed, to have someone come and change your flat tire, or to have a mechanic check under the hood for any underlying problems. We don't just stop the car and quit. We don't just trust that the car won't break down or that the problems won't grow bigger when there are already red flags. Therefore, we stop being stagnant and come to the realization that God already has the solution to every single situation. We give it to Him and realize that we CAN face each and every day with exuberance. We see that we can be sassy in the Spirit and that with authority we can tell Satan to stick that in his juice-box and suck it. We see things for what they are, the importance of the state of our hearts above all else and the ability of God to reform, restore, and transform us into strong soldiers in God's army. So again I say, "REJOICE!"

2 Timothy 2:3 - "Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus."

1 Corinthians 1:29 - "......so that no man may boast before God."

Philippians 4:4 - "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice!"

Carry Us

Carry Us

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

Is there an end to this season?

Maybe one day we'll find out the reason,

But I don't dare to count this as the fifth year

Because I hold onto hope that maybe,

Just maybe the end is near.

So..until then
We're all learning now that we don't lap up what others spill;

But that we wait for what God reveals.

Holy Spirit bear witness.

Bring us discernment

Of these words, words, words.

Bring us all into one accord

While we pray

And supplicate.

Separate..the lies from the truth

In our hearts

And start a great healing among us.

Keep the violation far from our memory

And carry..us far..far away from stagnation

By furthering us along on the road of salvation.

It's Okay To Cry

It's Okay To Cry

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

God knows every tear you've already cried,

The reason why,

The pain you've tried so hard to hide.

He knows.

It's okay to cry.

He knows the feelings you've tried to subside,

The trauma that you've internalized,

Every single escape from Him that you've tried.

Honey, He knows.

It's okay to cry.

He knows every feeling of worthlessness stemming from your insecurities,

Every heartbeat stolen by your anxiety,

Every yearn and plead for some security.

He knows.

It's okay to cry.

He knows your feelings of inferiority,

The places of your vulnerability,

The deepest cries of your heart that want to experience purity.

Honey, He knows.

It's okay to cry.

So fall to your knees desperately,

Cry out earnestly,

Sing a song expressing your calamity,

And raise your hands in honesty

Then praise the God Almighty

And brace yourself!

Because you're about to feel..FREE!

Lonely Hearts

Lonely Hearts

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

At night when we're laying in bed

 Staring up at the ceiling,

A blank canvas

In a room full of loneliness,

In the day when we're shopping for what to dress in next,

Whatever others think looks best,

Our bodies being another canvas

To address,

When we arrive home to a meaningless kiss,

Some experiencing the weight of heartlessness,

From being selfishly undressed

Causing us to think that we're not worth the respect,

Or when we go out with friends

Trying to mend or depend on them,

Causing us to remember a deep sea of forgetfulness..

When we shouldn't

Or how about when we see our family on Christmas,

Faking a smile when we're really depressed

Yet our focus is on striving to impress..whoever shows up at the door next

And by that time we've learned how to suppress it.

Well what if I told you an addiction to approval and attention

From external things and obligations

Won't fill your emptiness?

That only Jesus can fill the void of your aloneness?

Because truth is..

We all will pass away:

People, places, things

So it is only to our Saviour, the King of Kings that we cling.

Beautiful Desperation

Beautiful Desperation

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

 

I want to keep His face in mind,

The One who died on the cross to save..my life,

I surrender everything..that I have.

I surrender everything..

That I am.

 

I lay down my life

To glorify

 The One who saved me,

The One who bled for me

To be free.

I can't do this on my own,

For it is Him to all I owe.

 

Though I'm weary and burdened,

Tired and worn.

I know the pain doesn't end when you're re-born.

So I dream of heaven where no one mourns.

But I choose to praise Him..in this storm.

 

He is worthy..to be adored

And I find beauty in my desperation

The veil..has been torn,

No more seperation.

So I hope in heaven.

 

A wondrous desitination,

Free from pain.

Though the growth from this rain,

 Is beautiful

So in this life I'll choose to be..joyful.

 

Redeemer

Redeemer

By: Elaina Morgan

I need to stop putting off the change that must take place

Because with that I'll never win this race.

It's time to face all the things I should be,

I'm going to redo so redeem me.

I won't let them tell me who I am

Because I know I've been saved by the blood of the Lamb.

They say, "You're this, you're that."

But only He knows where my heart's at.

I know my own strength's too trite.

So I'm giving it all to my Jesus Christ.

Heart's contrite.

I know what's right, 

But they keep knocking at my door.

Walk right in and knock me to the cold hard floor.

There's a constant war raging inside.

Battling with myself to fight against all of my pride, suicide.

Tried to kill my flesh,

But I can only do it with His help, no less.

Hitting refresh.

I'm giving it back to You

Because it's all I can do.

Sick of doing what I do, it's true.

The old is gone.

The new has come because I'm done.

I've had my "fun."

I know I was sending myself to the grave.

So glad Your Son came to save,

Pave the way.

My way: foolishness and fatutity.

Sinful ways just grew with me.

It was just losing me, abusing me.

Not healthy.

Lord, help me.

My life's not mine.
It's Yours.

I'm not fine and I can't take it anymore.

Hold me up because my heart's too sore.

All I'm yearning for is more.

I'm only the renter of this body,

But you're at the center of this body.

You have saved this very soul,

But I'm full of guilt.

I'm like torn pieces from a quilt,
A flower wilted in the wind because I've sinned.
Yet you pick me up so tenderly.
You walk ahead of me.
Today's inception of Your redemption.

Baby Girl

Baby Girl

By: Elaina Grace Morgan

I see the light in your eyes fading away with each and every single passing day.

You look in the mirror.

But you don't like what you see.

You hide away for fear that they might see.

You say, "I don't want them to see the real me."

I see that your breaking at the seams.

You're starving yourself to death.

You're losing your breath.

Who? You.

You're in pursuit.

You're looking for happiness.

So you're dressing for success, but inside you know you're making a mess.

So outside you're looking for what's next.

So you hit the club to see what the hub's about.

Every night is like a roundabout.

But getting slizzered won't make it go away.

You feel that it's your only getaway.
But baby girl, you know there's a battle for your soul and with all that you'll never end up feeling whole.
So give it to the One who already won it all.

He's the only one who can catch you when you fall.

Instead you hide yourself away in your room.

You turn on the dark music and let it consume you.

Out comes the razor and it doesn't even faze you.

Others think you're insane.

But you're cutting with the intent to ease your pain.

They ignore what they saw.

Pretend like they didn't even see it at all.

But baby girl, He'll heal your hurting heart.

He'll make something beautiful from the pieces torn apart.

But you pour out those pills.

You want to forget what you feel.

You just want to escape, make it all go away.

But everything feels the same after you already went that way.

You live to be high, but they're fighting, knowing the ending

of the story you're already in the midst of writing.

The depression is growing darker.

But your past doesn't determine your future because it wasn't written in marker.

So you contemplate your death, every single last breath.

You feel like your life's a living hell.

So you dwell on the darkness.

On all those you found heartless.

You pick up the gun.

But baby girl, the devil's had his fun.

God's not done with you yet.

So give it to the One who will make you alive again,

paid the debt, and gives the ability to survive again.

You've got a plan.

You've got a purpose.

He is the Only one who can make you stronger.

So baby girl hang on just a little bit longer.