How To Be Religious For Dummies: LOL

    Disclaimer: If you want your church to stand out do NOT follow these because you JUST might cause an epidemic in the normality of MANY churches today.

1. When you get a little sniff of someone who smells like smoke give them a dirty look and plug your nose like they passed some really bad gas and say, "Excuse you." If you are feeling extra brave march up to them and tell them they don't belong here and then suggest they come to the church bonfire so they will fit in better with everyone else.

2. When someone smells like B.O. and then gets up the nerve to raise their hands during worship scoot away as inconspicuously as you can. If that is not possible to do at the moment then raise your hands like a good church kid, do the "car wash", and imagine that you're wiping all their sins away because obviously Jesus forgot to take care of something.

3. When the pastor introduces you to someone and asks you to sit with them then make sure you obey or you just might go to hell, but make sure you get another friend to sit on the other side of you so you aren't completely tied down. Make a few comments to the newbie then rotate your body gradually so that you end up facing your friend and pretend you are having an important, "godly" conversation about what you are going to wear to the youth conference so that you are able to scout out cute, christian singles while looking "Christ-like."

4. When you realize you've fallen asleep in church belt out a casual "Amen!"  or "Hallelujah!" so that everyone thinks you're holy. Just make sure you don't let out an amen when the sermon is about sex.

5. If someone is singing off tune start to sing louder than them even if it does turn out like the competitions on "The Voice." You wouldn't want anyone around them to be distracted by their lack of angelic praise.

6. When someone brings a tambourine run as fast as you can to the church resource center or even the church book store to get one for yourself so you can make sure that they stay on a righteous beat.

7. If someone accidentally lets out a cuss word then suggest (or pressure them depending on how bad the cuss word was) to get baptized right after service. If the church isn't holding baptism on that day then drive them over to your house after with haste and dunk them repeatedly in the bathtub and possibly rinse their mouth out with soap.

8. If the newbie that came to church that morning is extra cute and "Boaz" material then glance at his left hand to make sure he is not married. If he is blessed to be single then quickly find where he is sitting and place your stuff there. Once offering comes around after the service get out your checkbook and tilt it towards him casually so he can glance at how much you are going to give. If you want to impress him then consider going triple digits and if you want to make him your husband without a doubt then quadruple digits is a must.

9. Go up every Sunday when the pastor is giving an alter call. You want to make sure your sins from that week are forgiven. You also want to make sure you lift your left hand when responding so that when you walk down the aisle to the front looking over the crowd you'll come eye to eye with any prospects.

10. You go to the singles ministry luncheon flirtatiously eating grapes like Delilah so your Samson will grow weak at the knees.

11. When the very first thing you pray about matches the lyrics to "Raining Men" by Rihanna.

     Our sole purpose is to live for Christ, love others, and accept them. This was meant for joking around about some things we see or get caught up in and others that are just ridiculously funny. This has been SO fun to write. 

To be continued...

Walls vs. Guards

    The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." The Bible tells us that when we attain peace in God it will help us guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. If we are content in what He has given us in the moment and not lusting after worldly things then guarding our hearts will be an easier task. The more we meditate on His Word the easier it becomes to recognize things that are ungodly causing our spirit to become more aware of the things that have the ability to pull us in the wrong direction. As we recognize this we see that He has given us the ability to resist those things. He doesn't just give us the ability to resist; he equips us as well meaning that he gives us the tools we need. He gives us resources so that we may not fall into the trap the enemy has set up for us. Hebrews 13:21 says, "May he equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. All glory to Him forever and forever. Amen." This means we have to think upon things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and whatever is admirable like it says in Philippians 4:8 so that we are glorifying God with every thought and action. 

    Now I am not saying we have to sit in church every single day; take communion every breakfast, lunch, and dinner; or say "Hallelujah!" every time you get through a light without it turning yellow. I am saying that if we are doing things that are not building us up in Christ but tearing us down then we need to catch it before we fall even further. You know what you can and cannot handle. If you struggle with drugs you shouldn't be putting yourself in a place where it is going to cause you to be tempted to do it again. The importance of guarding your heart is written in Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." In other words it determines the course of your life! If you are constantly putting yourself in situations that are not building you up then eventually you are going to fall. One choice can bring you into a whole new world of sin. Your mindset might be that you are only trying it and getting it out of your system now, but if we're not careful to run from it sooner than later then it's only going to be a matter of time. It's going to get harder for you to turn from those things. The road will be longer to get back to where you wanted to end up and if you stay there you're never going to reach the destination you wanted to get to.

    It is so very important to do this because things that don't seem like a big deal now can become one later on if we are not careful. Luke 6:45 ties into all of this telling us that: "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Now guarding your heart is different than putting up walls. When we put up walls it makes it harder for us to love others. It can make us deaf to the things God is trying to speak to us. No matter how much someone hurts us we have to be able to forgive and protect ourselves from the threat of bitterness. It just makes it harder to let other people in and even God causing hatred. This will stop us in our tracks making it impossible to grow so that we may become the person God wants us to be. His purpose for us is to love one another like He loves us and we cannot do that if we are constantly worrying about being hurt by everyone. We need to forgive and forget like I have written before, but when it comes to forgetting we have to be wise in what we are letting in (that is when guarding your hearts comes into play). Discernment is an important factor in what action we are supposed to take in order to do that, but remember that forgiveness and love must also be present in everything we do. Love is the KEY factor in tearing down any walls that we have built up in our lives. If we can love like He loved us and stay in tune to what He tells us to do then He will work in our lives undoubtedly. 

Faith vs. Fear

    Last week I was really struggling with fighting this feeling of fear I've had to endure. There was definitely some spiritual warfare going on because I was taking action in something that has been long awaiting. That thing being making amends with my family. Let me tell you that a pastor's family is NOT perfect! It's not in the least bit. We have to deal with normal family issues and it is important to take care of them as they come up. It should not be put into our hands, but into God's. When we give our problems to God they are taken care of in the way that they should be as long as we are following in His footsteps and doing what we can to arrive at the point of peace. Now what does this have to do with fear?

    The story is quite lengthy so I will try my best to shorten it. I brought up family because we had been struggling with a few things. I had moved out and since things have been restored I am coming back home VERY soon! I am so excited and I cannot wait for this new chapter to be written in my life. It will definitely be one of restoration and I am looking forward  to seeing what's to come. Anyways at the beginning of last week I began to take action to strive for peace and God helped me reach that goal, but let me tell you that the spiritual warfare that I had faced later that week was real. I had definitely expected it so I knew I was in dire need of more time with God. I am currently living with my friend and they are in the midst of doing the upstairs shower so I had to go to the basement to take mine. Everytime I went down there I would get this overwhelming fear.

    I knew it wasn't a coincidence so I would 2 Timothy 1:7. It says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." So I was telling my friend about this and she told me to claim authority over it as well. I told her that I had been doing that as well but that I would do it again. So I preceded to make my way to the bathroom and felt even more fear than I had before. This time I claimed authority out loud and then my mind wasn't on that fear once I had walked into the bathroom. So I preceded to take my shower and just as I was washing the conditioner out of my hair I heard a huge bang followed by glass shattering. The picture on the adjacent wall had fallen. It had startled me at first, but I wouldn't let fear consume me once more because I knew that fear was not of God.

    Once I got out of the shower I saw that hundreds of pieces of glass were laying ontop of each other on the floor like a bunch of puzzle pieces that were meant to be connected to each other. I looked at the wall. The nail was still intact and not only was it intact; it was completely horizontal. It don't believe it was a coincidence. I believe the devil was working overtime to overwhelm me with fear once more. As if that wasn't enough I went downstairs the next day to once again take a shower. I was about to leave the bathroom when I saw a spider sitting right in front of the door preventing me from leaving. I don't like spiders so I climbed ontop of the counter and waited for it to crawl ALLLLL the way to the other side of the room after several attempts of throwing bars of soap and anything else that was accessible from the bathroom counter.

     Of course I missed every single shot I could take to kill the thing so you can only imagine how relieved I was when he decided to make his way as far from the door as he could be in order for me to muster up the courage to walk out of that door with confidence that he wouldn't crawl up my leg. Was this coincidence? I don't know and I don't care. It was just one more thing to make my heart stop for another second that it should have been beating. I thought that it was quite funny actually! My whole point is that when you speak authority and have faith in God to help you through the things you need to overcome He answers. It frequently ends up not being in our own timing, but when it's in His  timing it is always perfect. It always ends up being before we break. Now I have one more thing to say before I am done with this post. I previously mentioned that I am going back home with my parents.

    Before I even started this blog I was living elsewhere. I had attended my last youth camp in August the month before I began to write this. The only thing I got from camp that year was that I was supposed to go home so when I had arrived back from camp I had talked to my parents about coming back home. Things were not looking up for me. They were in fact looking darker and darker. I pretty much said to God, "Pft, there is no way I am ever going back now." I ended up forgetting what God told me at camp, but after the beginning of last week when things started taking a huge turn for me it was brought back to my memory. In fact I think I might have written about it in one of my journals if I am not mistaken. I wish I had kept believing God to do what He said He would do. But this has definitely made my faith grow so much more. I know that God ALWAYS keeps His promises no matter how hopeless the situation looks.

P.S. I'm going homeeee!! :D (My earthly home....one day it will be to my real home so I can be with Him:))

Pledge Peace

    "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification," Romans 14:19. I've read this verse before but now that I realize how much I could apply this to my life I see more than just a few words written down on a page. I have had trouble getting this like everyone else has at one moment in their life. I recognize that in the situations I am facing I can try even harder to make peace. The Greek word for peace is "eirene" which is the same kind of peace that the Hebrew word "shalom" translates. It is the wholeness of one's soul that is not affected by the circumstances going on around them.

    I've been going through a lot lately and it's been shaking me up. I have been trying very carefully to not let it shake my faith because in all honesty I cannot imagine my life in complete absence of God. It's impossible for me and I would not want it any other way. I know that a lot of my sin has been the cause for my weary soul and being able to forgive myself is like trying to forgive someone who murdered me. Yes, I do mean me and not someone close to me because I know that I am the one who is killing my soul. I am the one who chooses to sin. No one chooses it for me. I find it easier to forgive others because I know that I cannot control those people and I do know I can control myself. It's just like what is written in Romans 7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

    My flesh gets the best of me. The pleasure is momentary, the consequences are just, and the judgement is honorable. In order to attain peace in my heart I need to edify my soul just as we are to have mutual edification amongst us in order to make peace present. What do we do in order to strive for peace? Make every effort. That may mean dismissing ourselves from any situation that could tempt us and forgiving ourselves for the sins we have committed once we have repented or that may mean drowning out any dismay you may have between one another by addressing a situation in order to seek understanding. If we look at the context it is talking about not causing one another to stumble. In Romans 14 the example given is the partaking of certain foods. Paul, the author of Romans, also gives the example of drinking wine. As fellow believers we may be able to drink a glass of wine without it being an obstacle to our faith, but if our decision to drink is causing another believer to fall then we should not do this around them for several reasons. It can also cause discord among believers which is not making an effort for peace, but for division.

    In my life I have trouble making peace with others because I can't make peace within myself with what I have been trying to do to get there. I have had to learn that in order to make an effective attempt with making peace with other people I need to seek God for peace and for the ability to forgive myself for my mistakes and learn not to do it again. Sometime last week a song popped into my head that I hadn't listened to in a very long time. It is "You Raise Me Up" by: Josh Groban. Here are some of the lyrics:

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up... To more than I can be. 

    I know that God can do wonders in my life because He has before and I will never stop believing that. He is our Healer and can give us the peace we need. God states that in His Word:

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his son is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42: 5,8) 

Redeemer

Redeemer

By: Elaina Morgan

I need to stop putting off the change that must take place

Because with that I'll never win this race.

It's time to face all the things I should be,

I'm going to redo so redeem me.

I won't let them tell me who I am

Because I know I've been saved by the blood of the Lamb.

They say, "You're this, you're that."

But only He knows where my heart's at.

I know my own strength's too trite.

So I'm giving it all to my Jesus Christ.

Heart's contrite.

I know what's right, 

But they keep knocking at my door.

Walk right in and knock me to the cold hard floor.

There's a constant war raging inside.

Battling with myself to fight against all of my pride, suicide.

Tried to kill my flesh,

But I can only do it with His help, no less.

Hitting refresh.

I'm giving it back to You

Because it's all I can do.

Sick of doing what I do, it's true.

The old is gone.

The new has come because I'm done.

I've had my "fun."

I know I was sending myself to the grave.

So glad Your Son came to save,

Pave the way.

My way: foolishness and fatutity.

Sinful ways just grew with me.

It was just losing me, abusing me.

Not healthy.

Lord, help me.

My life's not mine.
It's Yours.

I'm not fine and I can't take it anymore.

Hold me up because my heart's too sore.

All I'm yearning for is more.

I'm only the renter of this body,

But you're at the center of this body.

You have saved this very soul,

But I'm full of guilt.

I'm like torn pieces from a quilt,
A flower wilted in the wind because I've sinned.
Yet you pick me up so tenderly.
You walk ahead of me.
Today's inception of Your redemption.